02 Unforgivable - Untouchable Read online

  He grabbed my arm and pulled me back down, “Not now.” Then he smiled and picked up my glass of iced tea that I had barely touched, “I’ll just have some of yours; you’re mom makes good sweet tea.”

  I laughed, “Yeah that is one thing she has down pretty well, boiling water for the tea bags.”

  “Everyone doesn’t have to be a great cook. I’m sure she’s wonderful at a lot of different things.”

  I nodded, “I hope I’m half the mom she is someday.”

  He rolled onto his side on his lounger and began staring intently at me.

  “Your stare can get a little creepy sometimes,” I confessed without looking back into the intensity of his gaze.

  “You mentioned once about wanting a baby. I was just wondering if you were serious.”

  I was glad the subject had changed from my dream. At least this subject was about our future together and not my crazy dreams about being torn apart, “Definitely.” Then the thought hit me that he might not want children, “how about you? Have you ever thought about having a family?”

  “Not until I realized that I’d fallen in love with you. I never thought I’d find someone I’d want to make a commitment to.” His smile got broader, “And then you came along and turned my world upside down.”

  “So,” I said, returning the penetrating stare, “do you want to have a baby?”

  “I’ll let you do that part,” he chuckled. “I’m starting to think about several, maybe a half dozen or so, you know Italians like big families.”

  “I’ll meet you in the middle. How about three?”

  The stare was becoming smoldering and I had the feeling he was ready to start working on baby number one if I was willing. “What are you thinking?” I finally asked.

  “I’m trying to imagine you pregnant.”

  The look got hotter and I was feeling the need to hit the pool just to cool off before I roasted under his gaze. “I don’t know,” I blushed, trying to look away from those easily read green eyes, “I can’t imagine deserving the look you’re giving me if I look like I’m hiding a basketball under my belly button.”

  “You will, I know it. You’ll be incredibly sexy when pregnant, somehow I can tell.”

  “You’re just thinking about all the fun you’ll have getting me that way,” I quipped.

  “Oh, yes, baby, but trust me, I’ll make sure you have an equally good time.”

  “Wow,” I said, just discussing this with him was burning me up inside, “I’ve got to get in the pool and cool off.”

  He was reaching for me, but I had already dodged his grasp and let out a squeal as I ran for the pool and dove in. I was underneath the water when I heard the sound of his body closing in on me. I was a good swimmer, but he was much more powerful with all those extra muscles; he caught me as I surfaced on the other side.

  Kimmy was laughing at us until he kissed me. “I’m telling Mom!” she threatened, but with a teasing edge. The other little girl simply said, “Eew!”

  She broke Micah’s concentration as I slipped out of his grasp and took off through the water. I swam for all I was worth to reach the ladder, knowing he’d probably grab me before I could exit the pool, but I had squeaked out before he lunged like a great white getting ready to take down its prey. I laughed, snatching up my towel and running inside.

  At that moment I heard Kimmy ask Micah to play a game of Marco Polo with them. She evidently liked the idea of a giant shark in the water. I went inside to help Mom set the dinner table, as I heard the girls screaming with delight as Micah chased them around the pool.

  “I’m glad he decided to stay,” Mom admitted as she handed me the dinner plates.

  “Not as glad as I am,” I laughed.

  She paused, resting her hand on her hip as I put the plates out on the table.

  “What?”

  “I can’t believe my little girl is all grown up and in love. I’m so glad you’re happy,” she sighed.

  I gave her a very damp hug, still wrapped in my towel from the pool. The way she said it reminded me that her once happy life with Robert was over and she found herself suddenly single at 35. “You’re beautiful,” I reminded her. “One of these days you’re going to find someone that makes you really happy.”

  Her eyes misted over and she smiled, “I found him, once. I just wish he would have stayed.”

  I had the feeling this wasn’t about Robert, but she never told me very much about my father except that they were both young and made some unwise decisions. “My dad?” I asked.

  “Micah reminds me a lot of Lee. He was muscular and handsome, and I was so in love with him.”

  “So why did he leave?

  “Grandpa, my dad, told him he was going to have to make things right by me when I turned up pregnant. Lee wasn’t ready, I guess. I wasn’t legal age and he was twenty-four. It was marriage, jail or run—he ran. I was so mad at my dad for like two years, until I met Robert and then I felt I had another chance at happiness, so I went for it.”

  “Did you ever try to find him? I mean to tell him about me?”

  “Oh yes, the day I turned eighteen I hired two detectives to find him. I wanted him back in my life so badly, but it was like he had fallen off the edge of the world, completely untraceable. I held out hope that he would try to contact me, but I never heard from him again.” Her tears were filling her lower lashes, so I hugged her once more.

  The doorbell rang and I knew it was the caterer. Dinner was brought in and placed in the kitchen; she didn’t want them to stay and serve. Within an hour everyone was dried and dressed as we sat down to enjoy the meal. Mom was taking Kimmy and her friend to the movies after dinner, and we were invited to join them, but we opted for time alone at home.

  When they left, we curled up together on the sofa with the lights down low, a small fire and a little Kenny G. playing in the background. It may not have exactly been the kind of music either one of us was used to, but I had to admit it could set a romantic mood. But, then again, as long as we were in each other’s arms, I think we could have had chimpanzees banging on pots and pans and still have been happy just because we were together.

  “You know we could use a good bottle of wine about now,” he tightened his grip on me.

  “I don’t drink, Mr. Gavarreen,” I reminded him.

  “And I don’t want you to start drinking, future Mrs. Gavarreen, but I think wine barely counts as long as you aren’t a lush that downs the bottle.”

  “I have a hard enough time keeping my head together with you around. I don’t think I could handle even one glass of wine.”

  “It would make you sleep better,” he added.

  “I think I’m going to be sleeping just fine to—”

  “Leese,” he stopped me, “you still haven’t told me about your dream.”

  I groaned reflexively, “I’ve decided I just want to forget it.”

  “Did I hurt you? You said I was in the dream and that’s the only thing I can—”

  “I think I actually hurt you first,” I whispered. My eyes were tearing up as the dream came rushing back to me. “I was running away from you, but I didn’t know where to go or what to do, except I knew…” How did he get me discussing this? I had determined earlier I was going to find away to avoid telling him the horrid dream and now he had me practically spilling the entire thing out for him to dissect. “Dreams are stupid and they don’t mean anything.”

  “You told me God has a purpose for everything; that would have to include dreams, Leese. Finish telling me: what did you know?”

  I sighed, I was certain this dream was going to ruin our romantic evening together. “I knew my life was over. There’s no reason to live without you in it.” The first tear rolled down my cheek.

  “Baby, if I die two minutes from now, you have a lifetime of reasons to live.” He kissed my throat, “What happened in the dream?” he urged.

  “I put a knife to my chest to end my life.”

  He was holding perfectl
y still as if I were a piece of thin glass with too much stress on it. “Did you?”

  “No, Micah, you showed up.” I wanted to leave it sounding like he was the hero and hopefully he wouldn’t ask anymore about the dream.

  “Tell me the rest,” he pressed.

  “You asked me why I threw away your love.” My chest heaved as I took a breath to stop myself from sobbing.

  “And?”

  “Do you have to know everything?” I questioned.

  “Finish it, Leese. Tell me the rest.” At this point he sounded almost desperate to know how the dream would end, but I knew he would hate me for even imagining that kind of ending.

  “You took the handle of the knife in your hands and shoved it through my heart and I died.” It sounded so flat without the sound of the pouring rain, and the thunder and lightning from the dream.

  He was very still as I wiped my eyes. “That’s why I had to come see you. There are no reasons in this world that would ever make me want to run from you. I’d never do anything to destroy what we feel for each other.” I heaved another sob, “I’m sorry you had to even hear about it.”

  He turned my face up to his and brought his mouth softly to mine, “I think it just means you’re still a little bit afraid of me. But, trust me Leese, I could never hurt you.”

  I wrapped my arms around him and held on until I felt my composure return, “I swear to you, Micah, I really do know that; I’m not afraid of you, I’m only afraid that I’m going to wake up and this will just be some dream and I’ll still be forbidden to find you.”

  “What do you mean forbidden?”

  “When I went to New Orleans—”

  “You came to New Orleans to find me?” shock clearly in his voice. “When?”

  “Right after you sold your house—I still can’t believe you sold that house. I loved it there.”

  “You came to New Orleans. I didn’t know about that and who told you that you were forbidden to find me?”

  “Your—your mom.”

  “Mom! You’ve got to be kidding. She never told me you were there.”

  “She said if I kept it up I might be responsible for your death—I couldn’t take that chance.”

  “I was going through hell, but I never knew you were looking for me. I was starting to think you might have changed your mind. I was so nervous the day at the church because I was afraid you wouldn’t want to get together with me again.”

  “Oh, Micah, I hired a lawyer to find out if you were in jail. I left messages for Gwen, and tried to get anyone in your family to call me. I was going crazy before I rented a jet and flew out there.”

  He kissed me with a new passion, a deep passion of someone who suddenly realized how much he was loved. He laid me back on the couch and placed himself above me.

  My heart started to flutter as he covered me with his body and kissed me hungrily. I parted my legs, allowing his body to rest in the cradle of my passion. We hadn’t been so intimately positioned since the day I straddled his lap at the motel and then tried to wiggle free. I recalled the heat between us and the desperate way he said, “Don’t move like that, baby.” I could still feel his grip as he tried to keep me from pulling away.

  He rose slightly and looked at me, “I don’t have this kind of strength, baby—I wanted to wait, but I’ve never needed anything so bad in my life.”

  I didn’t get the chance to even open my mouth when the telephone rang. “Crying out loud,” I sighed, “Evidently God is trying to tell us to wait because every time, Micah—”

  “I know baby, go answer it. It might be your mom.”

  I picked up the phone by the fourth ring and saw it was R. Faultz on the caller ID. I had almost forgotten about my date tomorrow with Ryan.

  “Hello, Ryan.”

  I watched the look come over Micah’s face.

  “Thanks. Yeah, it’s official, I’m eighteen. No, I haven’t forgotten about tomorrow.” Nearly, but not quite. “I’m not really sure we should do it now, you see…”

  Ryan was asking why I might not be able to keep my promise as Micah was motioning me to hand him the telephone.

  “Hold on, I’ve got someone who wants to talk to you.” Oh, how horribly cruel it felt to put the phone in Micah’s hand. Ryan was a good friend, and even though Micah told me the day he proposed that I would keep my date, I couldn’t see how it could be appropriate now.

  “She’ll be there,” Micah affirmed, “I’ll bring her personally.” There must have been a long pause. “Ryan? Dude, you still there?” Micah looked at me and smiled.

  I know I was cringing.

  “Yeah, I’m back. I had to take care of some business, but I couldn’t just let you move in and take my girl. Yeah, I know and trust me, I’m not leaving her alone again. Actually, yes I am, but in a separate bedroom. Yes, her mother approved; what kind of guy do you think I am? Never mind, I don’t think we have enough time for that answer,” Micah laughed once more. “So, where am I taking her, again? Noon, right? Yeah, here she is,” he said, passing the phone back to me.

  “Hey,” I breathed. Ryan only had one big issue—the kind of date he was expecting was two people not three and he asked me to ditch my hit man and come alone. “I can’t do that, Ryan—but if you want to back out, I’ll understand.”

  Fat chance. I had a date tomorrow with my very handsome close friend and my fiancé. Ryan still had no clue Micah proposed and that the ring was poised on my finger right now. I put the phone in the charger and came back to the couch. The mood had been extinguished like someone doused us with cold water.

  “I could have talked him out of it, you know,” I stated.

  “You made a promise to give him one date for the use of his car. I’m not going to have you start breaking promises after everything we’ve been through together. And in three months, you certainly aren’t keeping any dates with anyone other than me.”

  I smiled, as he gave me a quick kiss.

  “I’m hitting the shower,” he sighed, rising from the couch. “I guess I’ll go on to bed unless you want to find a bottle of wine and then—”

  “No—I told you I can’t control myself now. If you give me a drink, you might as well slip me some Ecstasy because I’m sure I’ll end up naked in the pool before it’s over.”

  He burst out with laughter and kissed me again, “Good-night, baby.”

  I waited for Mom and Kimmy to come home. Relaxing on the couch and watching the fire die out. I dozed until I heard Kimmy’s voice. We talked about the movie for a little while and then I went upstairs and went to sleep. Having him in the house worked like a charm because I was able to sleep without the nightmare returning.

  Chapter 2

  I made it up before anyone else, and went down to the kitchen to put together a little breakfast. I was far from being a gourmet cook, but I could whip up a mean batch of homemade cinnamon pancakes. It didn’t take long before the scent brought Kimmy bumbling into the room looking for a bite to eat. Minutes later, Micah appeared. He was wearing shorts and a tank. He hadn’t shaved yet, but I kind of liked his rough-around-the-edges look; not quite sure I’d want to kiss those rough edges, but the look suited him.

  Kimmy was already digging into a pancake when I placed a stack in front of him.

  “Homemade?” he questioned as he poured the syrup over the top.

  “Leese makes good pancakes,” Kimmy replied.

  “And, yes,” I responded, “they are homemade.” I observed with curiosity as he put the first bite in his mouth and watched the pleased grin take over his face, “Good enough?”

  He smiled, “Delicious. So how long will it take to get to this airstrip in Okeechobee?”

  “It’s about an hour and a half away, maybe a little bit more. You don’t have to come. You can trust me to—”

  “Leese, I trust you completely, but Ryan? He’s the reason I’m coming, baby, not you.”

  “Who’s Ryan?” Kimmy asked, stuffing the last bite of her pancake in her mouth.


  “Someone who likes your sister almost as much as I do,” Micah replied with a smile.

  “Are you going to fight over her?” Kimmy questioned him with no more fanfare than if she had asked if he was going to eat another bite of pancake.

  “Absolutely not. Kimberly Margaret Winslett, why would you even think such a silly thing?” I replied before Micah could open his mouth.

  “That’s what they do in the movies if two boys like the same girl.”

  “Well, this isn’t the movies, and real boys—I mean men, don’t have to act like that. Besides I’m the one who decides who I love, not the boys.”

  “Do you love Ryan?” she asked.

  I didn’t mean to hesitate. But, I realized Micah was being quiet and staring at the two of us as we discussed the viability of the ‘boys’ fighting and I was momentarily distracted. “No—not like Micah. Ryan is a friend and, believe it or not, that is different from a boyfriend.”

  “Oh, I know they’re different,” she stated matter-of-factly as if issues of love and complicated relationships were things she handled on a daily basis. She looked at Micah and smiled, “Are you gonna beat him up?”

  Micah had this really funny grin on his face as he leaned toward her and asked, “Do you think I should?”

  I was ready to end this stupid conversation when she simply said, “I think Leese will be mad if you do, so you better not.”

  I opened my mouth, but at that moment Mom walked in the room.

  “Good-morning, everybody. What will Leese be mad about?” she asked, grabbing the plate I was handing her, and then settling in beside Micah.

  “If Micah beats up Leese’s other boyfriend.”

  “Ah!” was all I got out.

  Mom looked at me like this was not the kind of conversation I should have brought Kimmy into, “Who?”

  “I told you Kimmy, Ryan is just a friend,” I clarified, my frustration level rising.